Today we learn of the lords of the skies, the mighty Valkyries, and put to rest some of the heretical rumours* you may have heard regarding the aircraft of mankind’s misguided foes.
The Noble Valkyrie
In ancient Terran mythology, Valkyries used to carry heroes into heaven, and that’s still broadly true. But now, the heroes are the brave and courageous Guardsmen of the Astra Militarum, carried to victory in the Emperor’s name.
Valkyrie pilots are the elite of the Imperial Navy, an organisation that, as well you know, is second only to our own glorious Astra Militarum in the eyes of the Emperor. These exceptional pilots are only too pleased to be seconded from their otherwise uneventful lives aboard the great vessels of the void, and be allowed the privilege to fly into the galaxy’s deadliest war zones with you as their cargo.
The Valkyrie itself is a perfect blend of transport and gunship. With heavy bolters, multi-lasers and missiles, it’s an absolute killing machine. All Valkyries also incorporate grav-chutes. These are to be used to quickly and safely deploy yourselves into battle, and should not be used for recreational purposes.
Valkyries are the equal of any foul xenos aircraft. Should you see a squadron of Valkyries flying away from the enemy, do not panic. They are simply refuelling and re-arming and will shortly return to renew their attack.
The Ignoble Aircraft of the Xenos
Over the last three rotations, several of you have written to us concerned about reports of mass ‘casualties’ inflicted by enemy air attacks. After due investigation we have concluded these instances to have been falsified and wildly exaggerated. What is true is that at the exact moment an enemy aircraft flew overhead, a lone squad of troopers were blown to pieces. However, this was a mere accident and nothing to do with the enemy fighter. The careless** troopers had inadvertently triggered a landmine and were summarily blown to bits.
Just to be clear, enemy aircraft cannot hit you. The Eldar and their flimsy flyers move much too fast to target ground troops. Ork fighters are primitive and are outfitted with inferior weaponry that lacks the range to hit anything not immediately in front of them. Necron craft rely on the same power source for both their guns and engines and cannot fire while moving.
We have also received dubious reports of Valkyries being shot down. Be assured, no Valkyries have been lost in any recent war zone. If you believe you have witnessed such an occurrence, you have likely just seen one of these fine pilots make an expert landing under enemy fire, and any explosions were most assuredly the enemy, or perhaps fireworks to celebrate another successful landing. If you find these explanations unsatisfying, please report to your Regimental Commissar for further details.
That’s all for today, trooper.
*Want to find out if your rumour is worth spreading? Simply check with your regiment’s commissar.
**Remember, your lives belong to the Emperor. Getting yourself killed is forbidden and failure to comply will result in punishment.
Thought for today:
“Fear is a coward’s punishment.”