Information on the new Munitorum ration packs.
Great news, Guardsman.
Due to ongoing difficulties with some minor agri-worlds on the Eastern Fringe being temporarily* turned into lifeless rocks by the advance of Hive Fleet Leviathan, we’ve taken the opportunity to re-assess the content of your ration packs.
You can now look forward to an exciting new menu.
Here is a guide to what you can expect in your new pack:
Second only to your lasgun as your most essential piece of equipment, your water canteen is your lifeline on the battlefields of the 41st millennium. Even indomitable Guardsmen need to drink! Note that this should be used to carry water only. Unauthorised alcoholic beverages will be confiscated by company officers and destroyed appropriately.
Water purification sachets
Essential on the more hazardous worlds in the Imperium: containing both anti-rad and anti-pathogenic elements, these sachets render any water on any world completely safe to drink.**
A new selection of quick snacks for the Guardsman on the go replace your traditional oat loaf bars. Despite scandalous rumours you may have heard, these are not simply repackages of food destined for domesticated felines, and are in fact carefully balanced micro-meals providing all the goodness you need for a meal in a few juicy mouthfuls. They are available in two delicious flavours – fish and rodent.
A set of highly useful portable cooking pans.
Note that we have heard some disturbing reports about disagreeable cooking practices – please refrain from warming these implements using an overheating plasma gun. This will result in overcooked and unsatisfactory food, and death.
Munitorum-issue Imperial spork
As the Guardsman is equipped to battle all enemies of man, so the spork is the capable of tackling any food.
Can also be used as a close combat implement in extreme circumstances (not recommended).
Breakfast, lunch and dinner are served. Each one is carefully balanced for optimised nutrition at each point in the day***, and all are – of course – delicious. The exact contents are a Munitorum trade secret, but rest assured your meal will be the envy of even high-class diners in the upper palace spires of a hive city.
Perfect for brewing a piping hot mug of recaff.
(Recaff not provided due to shortages – carrying of stove still mandatory)
Weatherproof fire igniter
Come rain, shine or acidic-spore-fog, your trusty firelighter will serve you well, bringing the light and heat of the Emperor to your meals.
Promethium-soaked firelighters allow for a quick and simple fire to be established under any conditions. In the event a warzone evacuation is required, these also double as rescue flares.
Mukaali lho sticks
Officially approved for Guardsmen on patrol, now with 30% less glow to lessen the risk from enemy snipers.
Note: not to be used for gambling bets – failure to comply will be met with summary punishment
Replacing your standard grox-meat portions, we bring you an exciting new range of flavours from the freshly approved Canis Rex supplier. These new treats are high in protein, goodness and marrowbone jelly.
Thanks for reading, Guardsmen
We hope you enjoy your new Munitorum-approved rations.
Thought for the day:
“An army marches on its stomach, and we march to victory!”
*117 agri-class worlds affected to date – re-colonisation and terraforming estimated for completion c.M47
** Statement is fictitious, though life threatening contaminants have been shown to decrease in lethality by as much as 6.9%
*** Packs are identical