Greeting Guardsmen,

At this time of year, as we approach the Feast of the Emperor’s Accession, we know that many of you are used to giving and receiving gifts in accordance with the traditions of your homeworlds. While the Adeptus Munitorum of course approves of any Ecclesiarchy sanctioned tradition, we ask* that you follow these new regimental guidelines to avoid unforeseen complications** at this time.

No Munitions

Re-gifting of munitions that were in the first instance supplied to you by the Quartermaster, either to another trooper or to a family member, is strictly forbidden. Under the correct Weapons Distribution Protocol of M34 such an act is deemed as a gross negligence of duty. This includes your lasgun, ammunition, charge packs, knife, field spork and any other “lethal” items you are assigned.

No Items of Clothing

We remind you that strict uniform rules exist for your protection. It is not acceptable to wear brightly coloured jumpers, gloves, hats and or scarves. These items will make it easier for the enemy to spot and kill you, endangering the success of our mission. Should you receive such gifts, kindly pass them onto Commissar Yavek who will distribute them to his Penal Legion for use on their next assault.

No Games

Cards, dice, miniatures and games of all sorts are prohibited. You have better things to do with your time than waste your Emperor-given years on such trivialities!

No Pets

Due to an unfortunate incident last week with an illegally exported Fenrisian Wolf, we would remind you that, much as you may want a puppy, all pets are banned from shipment on Imperial vessels.

Any items found in breach of any of these mandates will be confiscated by your regimental Commissar, for summary destruction or re-distribution to more worthy recipients.***

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This notice has been informative.

Provided you and your squad-mates comply, this year’s Feast of the Emperor’s Ascension will be a calm and heresy-free day.

Thought for the day:
‘The only true gift, is zeal.’

*Note: Read – “is Mandatory”.
** Such complications will be resolved by your regimental Commissar.
*** Like the Emperor-blessed officers of your regiment.