Hold the line out there, victory is almost at hand, and once again: everything is fine.
As we’re sure you will have noticed, your local sector is experiencing some minor and unusually turbulent Warp-storm activity. We are assured by the Munitorum astro-meteorological department that this is entirely normal – slightly above average for this time of year, but nothing to write home* about. It is also definitely only happening in your local area, and certainly not a galaxy-wide issue threatening every world in the Imperium.
This slight fluctuation in normal travel procedures has meant that reinforcements from neighbouring systems may be slightly delayed, but fear not! The angelic forces of the Adeptus Astartes are en-route and have already deployed in several war zones to secure an even swifter victory** than would otherwise have been possible. Just listen to this plucky guardsman’s report:
‘We’d lost our cap to a stray plasma round and the Comm’sar seconds later to a bolt to the head***. We thought we was done for – but then he shows up.
Like a blur he was, faster‘n the eye could see – shot down four cultists faster’n I could blink.
Then he goes a chargin’ into them, firing point blank. He has this whoppin’ great sword on his back, but he don’t even draw it – didn’t need to.
The lads ‘n’ I just fixed bayonets and charged after ‘im. It was a bloody few minutes, but then it was all over.’
Great to see the heroes**** of the Imperial Guard and Adeptus Astartes fighting side by side. We are honoured to march to war alongside such a master of battle, even if we didn’t catch his name.
It’s not all sunshine and victory though. Be warned that disreputable types may be using these warp-irregularities and altered shipping patterns as an opportunity to sow discord and heresy. We remind you that the hooded vagrant known only as “Robe and Hood” is still abroad in your sub-sector. Report all sightings to your superior officer or Commissariat staff.
Thanks for reading, Guardsmen.
Keep up the good fight.
Remember, it’s always darkest before the dawn of the undoubted victory of the unstoppable Imperial war machine.
Thought of the day:
‘In those times of darkness, my noble sons will shine brightest of all.’ – Roboute Guilliman
* Our apologies for reminding those Cadians amongst you that your world is a destroyed husk, as are all your loved ones in all likelihood.
** For the righteous, victory is never in doubt!
*** Evidently not following proper cover and fire-avoidance protocols.
**** The guardsman in question was posthumously awarded the Imperial laurel of fortitude, after he and the surviving troopers of this battle were tragically lost days later fighting alongside another Space Marine force from the Angels of Redemption.