Good news troopers, we’re about to improve your transport vehicles.
How? You might wonder. Increased defensive armour? More deadly pintle-mounted weapons?
Better: uplifting and inspirational bumper stickers.
The Departmento Munitorum has created these after seeing several of your own, poorly edited, factually inaccurate and in one case, directly heretical* attempts to create your own.
Lieutenants of Armoured Fist squadrons can request these new Munitorum-approved, Ecclesiarchy-blessed vehicle augmentations from your usual requisition system (note, the value of the bumper stickers will be deducted from your squad’s pay and pension fund.)
Our Administratum battlefield analysts have observed a 172% increase in effectiveness** of squads riding in vehicles adorned as such – further evidence should not be necessary. Show your support, and augment your own Chimera or Taurox today.***
May the Emperor watch over your vehicles.
Thought for the day:
‘That which I cannot crush with words alone, I shall crush with the tanks of the Imperial Guard!’
* The offending trooper was sent on an 8 week intensive re-education course, and then executed.
** Compared to units equipped with no transport at all
*** Mechanicus Approval still pending on Taurox Prime augmentation. To breach this is Heresy. Heresy will be met with retribution.