Your transit to the Konor System is well underway. The warp is experiencing a period of mild instability, probably caused by the massed retreat of our enemies in advance of your arrival, so your travel time is predicted at 3 Terran months to 52 Terran years. You will be grateful to know that, thanks to the tireless efforts of your Navigator, regardless of the length of your journey, you are still on schedule to arrive in a few weeks in real time – so don’t worry, you won’t miss a single moment of the action on Konor and you’ll have plenty of opportunities for heroism!*
Due to the haste of our departure and the misplacing of a decimal point on our boarding paperwork, several requisitions will only be available in limited or zero quantities during this journey.** Some of these will be easy enough for you to do without – recaff is easily replaced with a nutritious fruit tea, and personal grooming regulations have been relaxed to compensate for the absence of your Munitorum issue shaving kits.***
In addition, with the Munitorum Department of Enrichment still currently stuck behind the Cicatrix Maledictum, you will not be provided with entertainments on this journey – thankfully, the Regimental Standard is on hand to help! Our tireless puzzle-savants have worked to provide you with a fun and edifying word search that should more than suffice in entertaining you for the remainder of your journey:****
For regiments serving alongside Ogryns, we have also provided the below, edited to better suit the unique skillset of your abhuman allies.*****
Remember Guardsman – “Blessed is the mind too small for doubt!”
* For more information on chronal dilation during warp transit, please consult your regimental library for Avoiding Becoming Your Own Grandfather And Other Paradoxes That Create Unnecessary Paperwork for the Administratum by Inquisitor August Helden IIV the Elder/Younger of the Ordo Chronos.
** We cannot name the perpetrator, but rest assured they have been punished. In an unrelated note, Perkins is indefinitely suspended from form-filling duty, effective immediately.
*** Using your bayonet for the purposes of personal grooming is at best disrespectful to your equipment and at worse deeply irresponsible. You are reminded that limited medical facilities aboard your vessel will mean the reattachment of any errant extremities will have to wait until you arrive at Konor.
**** To ensure hours of fun, make sure to fill in the wordsearch with a pencil. Replacements will not be issued for those who use a pen.
***** Assisting any Ogryn in this task will be punished on the grounds of aiding and abetting a mutant, as well as being a bad sport.