Could you be a mutant? While one of humanity’s great strengths is its biodiversity, there is a narrow line between useful adaptation and warp-tainted aberration. Constant vigilance is needed to keep the bodies of your regiment – both your own and those of your comrades – free of mutation.
Due to the increased workload on Mutation Inspectors, the Departmento Munitorum has ingeniously devised a mutation self-report system, allowing for your reassignment to a role that better suits any vile, abnormal talents you may have.
0 Points: While you possess a commendable level of purity, Guardsman, such unmolested genes suggest frequent shirking of front-line combat duty against the forces of Chaos. You have been assigned to the front of the next assault wave in order to rectify your deficiency of courage.
Between 1 and 9 Points: While your level of impurity is relatively minor, there is no guarantee that you will not descend into full mutation at some point in the future. You are now required to fill in this form weekly until the end of your Contract of Conscription.
Between 10 and 49 Points: Bad news, abhuman – while you may have slipped under the radar so far, your vile genetics have now outed you. Worry not, though, mutant. The Emperor has plenty of uses for you yet – report for immediate reassignment to an abhuman regiment.*
50 Points or Over: Stand facing your barracks wall with all hands and/or pseudopods behind your back/back equivalent and yell “I’m a mutant! I’m a mutant!” in a loud, clear voice. Purity operatives will be with you shortly to ensure swift and efficient incendiary processing.
Fill in your form as promptly as possible, Guardsman, and hand it to your nearest Commissar for immediate action. We wish you the best of luck – either in your continued genetic incorruptibility or your exciting new life as part of an abhuman regiment.
++ Thought for the Day: ‘Let not the Mutant seek our places and share our lot.’ ++
* Dependent on assignment, you may have to hand in your lasgun and/or boots, particularly if you find yourself sniper-baiting or mine-clearing.