Following 88% regimental depletion due to excessive valour in your last campaign, your unit is being incorporated into the Ventrillian Nobles. We are sure many of you have heard of the luxuries available to Ventrillian Regiments*, but worry not – in order to help you while you adjust, you won’t have to worry about being distracted by any of them. You will be housed with the Ventrillian Ignobles, a sub-regiment that combines the ruthless discipline expected of all Ventrillians with camp conditions that you will be more accustomed to – after all, we don’t want you getting homesick!
From cosy barracks housing several infantry squads worth of soldiers to corpse-starch that tastes just like the kind you ate in your past regiment, you’ll have a home away from home.
Additionally, following some consultation with Ventrillian Regimental Commissars, we have prepared a small regimental induction package to help you integrate. This contains:
(A): One (1) Synthetic Avian Plumage Product (“Feather”)
(B): One (1) 1oz. Glue Tube For Attachment Of Above To Helmet
(C): Four (4) Lengths Imitation Gold Braid, For Altering Uniform To Meet Ventrillian Parade Standards
(D): One (1) Imitation Duelling Sabre (display use only)
(E): Full Set Ration Consumption Expansion Pack: Ventrillian Formal Dining Edition V2, Containing:
– Fish Knife
– Soup Spoon
– Brandy Glass
– 24″ x 24″ Silk Napkin
– Combination Butter Knife/Bayonet Attachment for Lasgun
We’re sure you’re raring to go, Guardsmen, and we have excellent news – the Ventrillian Nobles are so impressed by your efforts that you have been assigned to the initial attack wave during their upcoming assault. Good luck!
++Thought for the Day: “Despair is a sign of weakness.”++
* Namely, rations that aren’t corpse-starch, indoor dormitories, squires and manservants to assist you with menial tasks and so on.