Attention Guardsmen!

As we’re sure you know, today is one of the most sacred and important dates in your calendar.*

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On this very special day, we celebrate the complete reunification of the universe in M31 by the Emperor and his nine chosen sons during the Great Crusade. It is thanks to the actions of the Primarchs that the last 10,000 years have been characterised by such peace and prosperity.

Whether your local civic centres commemorate these great heroes, or your world was victim to the mysterious Orkish incursion in M33 where various statues, temples and libraries dedicated to their founding fathers were destroyed without trace, today is a day to remember the glorious principles of your Imperium and just how lucky you are to live within an empire, rather than flailing for false virtues like “independence” on the fringes of civilisation.

Due to a shortage in promethium, the customary serving of flamed starchburgers has been cancelled this year. You are still welcomed to view a short vid-capture of the fireworks on Terra, provided you acquire your commanding officer’s permission. We would welcome you instead to celebrate primarily this year by re-reunifying the Imperium – with our great empire briefly bisected by the so-called Great Rift, you have an opportunity to find heroism unseen since the halcyon days of the Great Crusade itself!

May you enjoy another compliant year, Guardsmen.

++ Thought For The Day: “One man is not an army, but an army must act with one purpose.” ++


* If you were not already aware of what day it is, cease reading and report immediately for flogging and mandatory calendar reorientation.