You there! Guardsmen!
Regimental Standard HQ have given us another issue in return for us saving their hides from an invasion of Orks!*
What makes a Navy Pilot? Is it his good looks? His courage? His mighty flying machine? Why, it’s all three – and more! A lot of the lads have been getting a touch overexcited lately, martyring themselves in service of the Emperor. Having managed to successfully hose their blessed remains from the cockpits of their craft, we’re now looking for some brave men and women to fill their ejector seats** – could you be one of them? We have provided an initial test of eligibility to see if you have what it takes.
Initial Eligibility Test
Knowing which instrument to use at the correct time could be the difference between life, death and disgrace. When you are on the seventh course at the officers’ mess, which of these spoons is it considered polite to use? [circle your answer]
SENSE OF DIRECTION
In the sky, it is easy to become disoriented, meaning a naturally superb sense of direction is paramount. If one is presented with a measure of amasec following a particularly excellent mission, it is correct to pass it to the: [circle your answer]
Should your cockpit be compromised, the aerodynamic qualities of your person will be key in both maintaining speed and avoiding uncomfortable buffeting. Using a single thimble of lasgun wax, a protractor, and an Infantryman’s Inscription Tool only, sharpen your moustache to the narrowest possible point, and trace it in the space below. Any suspicious results will require recreation under Commissariat supervision.
We look forward to seeing you in the skies, Guardsman!
++ Thought for the Day: Serve the Emperor today, tomorrow you may be dead! ++
* And on the condition they never grace our offices with their glorious presence again.
** Please note – while all Imperial aircraft are fitted with ejector seats for your safety, only 20% are fitted with retractable cockpits in order to discourage their irresponsible use.