Attention, Guardsmen!

A spectre is haunting the Astra Militarum – the spectre of improper poster discipline. Recently, the following bulletin appeared in several barracks:

Those of you ranking above Private may notice that this is not, in fact, an official Astra Militarum poster. For one, it lacks an approved Departmento Munitorum Watermark. For another, the grade of the paper used is 104 GSM, and not 98 GSM, as is required by Imperial law for all public communiques. Finally, it appears to have been written by a very stupid and/or intoxicated child. 

We suspect this to be the work of a minor Orkoid organism known as a grot.* The Ordo Xenos have observed a curious phenomenon where these disgusting creatures become possessed by what they claim is “da undying spirit of workin’ grots”,  but is most likely an aggressive form of brain decay. 

Such grots are drawn to the colour red and are obsessed with self-aggrandisement. We believe this “wanted poster” to be an ill-conceived attempt to raise this “Red Gobbo’s” profile, and not a representation of an actual threat. As always, the bounty for killing a grot remains the same,** and no special dispensation will be made for any “gobbos”, red or otherwise. 

Continue to slaughter the xenos with the same undiscerning zeal you always have. If anyone has any information on the appearance of these posters, report it to your nearest Commissar. Any further posters found in your barracks will be seen as the result of a gross dereliction of duty, for which your regiment will be decimated. 

++ Thought For The Day: The loyal slave learns to love the lash. ++


* Grots are to Orks what Conscripts are to Guardsmen. The difference is, sometimes Orks are sad when Grots die. Sentimental brutes!
** Namely, an extra spoonful of nutritional gruel (subject to Quartermaster’s discretion) and ONE (1) approving look from your commanding officer.