Greetings, Guardsmen. The first, and most important, thing is to try and keep panic to an absolute minimum. The situation is almost definitely under control, and sudden movements may put […]
The first, and most important, thing is to try and keep panic to an absolute minimum. The situation is almost definitely under control, and sudden movements may put you at undue risk.
If you have official permission to sit down, now would be a good time. Your regimental barracks has been infested with a large clutch of Catachan Face-eaters.*
We can see how, to less steely Guardsmen, this would be a cause for some concern. Rest assured that the individuals responsible have already been executed or, in many cases, consumed by Catachan Face-eaters, thus making their release a net good. It now falls to you to prove your skills and find the rest.
Please note, Guardsmen, that we fully expect you to maintain proper facial hygiene during this time. Remember that, while facial consumption is a noble way to die, being shot by your Commissar for slouching around looking like a hive-born chimney sweep is not.
++ Thought for the Day: Only fools fail in their duties. ++
* Allegedly named, in a stunning coincidence, after Captain Henry Face-eater (Deceased), original discoverer of these vile beasts (we think it was him – the body was hard to identify on account of it not having a face). This is an interesting factoid that will almost certainly be of use in the coming programme of extermination .