Greetings, Guardsmen! Every Imperial Commander loves receiving casualty lists.* No document is a better validation of the bravery of the Imperium’s loyal soldiers. After all, heavy casualties mean that a […]
Every Imperial Commander loves receiving casualty lists.* No document is a better validation of the bravery of the Imperium’s loyal soldiers. After all, heavy casualties mean that a greater number of martyrs have been brought to the Emperor’s table, while a more sparse sheet is an indicator of superior tactics.**
As such, we were delighted to find out that your Regiment’s recent assignment alongside the Space Wolves had resulted in a vast spike in deaths and injuries. We were less than delighted to discover, however, that most of these pertained to mjød.
Due to their intense respect for the Astra Militarum, the Space Wolves may try to offer you this strange, ritual substance, claiming it has properties similar to amasec, rahzvod or other regiment-specific rotgut.*** We would strongly advise against taking them up on this, given that it will cause you to a) behave inappropriately and b) die a horrible, messy death when all your organs spontaneously combust on contact with substances designed to attack the superhuman physiology of the Space Marines.
We have produced the following poster to illustrate the above point.
We hope you continue to enjoy your recycled water rations as the Emperor intended, and leave the Space Wolves well alone.
++ Thought for the Day: Success is measured in blood; yours or your enemy’s. ++
* Please note that any deficiency in delight on your Commander’s face upon receiving casualty lists should be reported to Commissariat officers immediately.
** And probably heresy.
*** Honour codes mean that the Space Wolves are compelled to offer you Mjod, despite not wanting to part with such a precious substance. Rest assured that their claims it will make you “strong”, “put hairs on your chest” and “tastes better than your Militarum swill” are merely examples of the strange decorum of Fenrisians and do not represent genuine pleas.