Today we’re going to talk you through the best ways of placating all of your machine spirits before battle. We have some expert advice here from the Adeptus Mechanicus to ensure that your weapons, transports, comms equipment and mechanical augmentations work perfectly so that you may continue to slay the enemies of the God-Emperor.
The first act of awakening a machine spirit is to recite the specific prayer for that spirit. These can vary greatly in length, so when you are assigned to a Baneblade you will likely have to get up before company reveille in order to complete the prayer prior to battle commencing. If the prayer is initially unsuccessful, deliver a sharp reverential impact with your hand to the side of the engine, raise your eyes skyward and recount one of the shorter machine spirit psalms.
To the layperson, it may seem that engines don’t require anything other than fuel to run. However, if you don’t also use the special perfumed oils, which are only available from the Adeptus Mechanicus, then the machine spirits may get restless. Sometimes in the heat of battle, there isn’t time to anoint the sacred oils, so many drivers will affix a piece of scented card, shaped like a Terran tree, to their reversing sensor, which can work just as well at short notice.
Vehicles of the Adeptus Mechanicus will have a number of holy runes that need to be pressed in a very specific order. Vehicles of the Astra Militarum have been created with the elite of the Astra Militarum in mind. Simply strike the green rune marked with the sacred Low Gothic symbols “O” and “N”. After the battle, be sure to placate the machine spirit by striking the red rune inscribed with the blessed marks “O” “F” and “F”. A few extra sacred oils at this point doesn’t hurt either.
If your machine is not responding, then you’ve clearly done something wrong – start over from the top and try again. If you hear any unfamiliar screeching, clanking, clunking, popping, hissing, squealing, wailing, tapping, chanting or dripping coming from the internal sections of your machine, and you’re certain there are no enemies inside, then you are responsible for making the nearest three (3) figures of authority* aware immediately.
If you encounter any trouble with the machine spirits of your equipment while on the battlefield, you do have one item that is always ready to use – your trusty bayonet. Make sure that you thoroughly, and regularly, bathe it in the blood of your enemies in the name of the God-Emperor.**
++ Thought for the Day: All mortal life is folly that does not feed the spirit. ++
* Unless they are Astartes, Inquisitors, Adepta Sororitas, Adeptus Custodes, or trusty canids, in which case, seek an alternate authority figure.
** Not that He has a name.