Editor’s note: I’m not sure we should be publishing this one, but the instructions were clear.
–// IMPORTANT NOTICE //–
Several important command documents have recently been misdirected to the regular edition of the Regimental Standard newspaper for publication rather than the Officer’s edition. Please check your filing destination before submitting – the publication servitors have not been instructed to verify the contents before they are committed to print, and the attending Tech-Priest insists they are ‘working as intended’.
–// Administratum Logis Superior Errat Stultus //–
Good morning, Officers!
It has come to the attention of Regimental Command that front line units are seeing an increase in insubordinate behaviour. As you know, this is unacceptable no matter how many claims of ‘blood-soaked nightmares’, ‘deranged flesh monsters’, or ‘teeth… so many teeth’ are made.
We have, therefore, seen fit to issue the following guidelines on suitable punishments for Guardsmen who are seen to act inappropriately in the line of duty.
- Servitor Conversion
Popularly used to ensure cowardly infantrymen continue to serve the holy Emperor’s will at their fullest capacity, sentencing soldiers to conversion into servitors is an effective method of guaranteeing future compliance with any orders given. As an added bonus, allied forces from the Adeptus Mechanicus will greatly appreciate your contribution to their craft.
- Weapon Confiscation
Observations show that many soldiers believe they require a lasgun to adequately perform their duties on the front line. However, Adeptus Munitorum studies have shown that an average rank-and-file Guardsman is equally likely to hit with their bare hands as with a rifle. Therefore, infantrymen showing below-average marksmanship should have their equipment confiscated until a greater appreciation is shown for the incredible technology they wield.
- Placement in the Rear Line
There is nothing more glorious than being one of the first through the breach in an inevitably successful assault, and the Imperium’s future is paved with the blood of the brave. Consequently, any soldier found to be negligent in the line of duty should be placed in the shameful rear line of the assault, where they can watch their comrades’ glorious sacrifice from a place of disgraceful safety.
- Service with the Ogryns
While the abhumans known as Ogryns have performed many centuries of dedicated service for the Emperor, they are frightfully awful beasts to spend time around. Insubordinate Guardsmen should find adequate time to learn lessons of loyalty while cleaning out their disgusting bunkhouses, which the Ogryns are known to deface in all manner of creative ways.
- Execution by Laspistol / Bolt Pistol / Chainsword / etc.
While it is usually the remit of the Commissariat to enforce obedience on the battlefield by way of summary execution, officers are also invited to partake as and when necessary. Raising morale by removing a cowardly influence from the battlefield is a celebrated and effective procedure – one of the cornerstones of Imperial military command.
By no means is this an exhaustive document, and officers in the field should feel free to tailor their punishments to the matter at hand. Failure to maintain an effective fighting force will result in demotion followed by the enactment of one or more of the above punishments by your successor.
++ Thought for the Day: To punish the traitor is a reward in itself. ++